Lotteries are the future.
A poll conducted a while ago on behalf of a large newspaper found that a lot of today's teenagers include winning a lottery as part of their financial planning for the future. Instead of working hard at school or thinking about their eventual careers, these kids actually figure that a sizeable lottery win will set them up in life.
Not surprisingly, this discovery sparked a great deal of debate among child development experts right across the country who felt that there were already far too many people buying lottery tickets which lessened the odds of the experts winning The Big One.
No, I am kidding of course. The child development experts were actually upset because the lotteries weren't around when they were kids, and it didn't seem fair that some spikey-haired, body-pierced little social misfit should be able to suddenly become a multi-millionaire overnight, while the expert had to keep struggling along on a mere $50,000 a year.
As a responsible journalist and observer of the human condition, the temptation here is to remind those kids that money can't buy happiness, and to point out that a penny saved is a penny earned, that hard work is its own reward, that anything worth owning is worth working for, and that the best things in life are free. But since none of that is true, I won't bother. Indeed, given the current state of employment opportunities for young people, investing their money in lottery tickets might be a better bet that investing it in retraining programs which help them develop skills computers can already do much better. Perhaps colleges and universities should be offering courses in sooth-saying and rune-casting to help people pick winning lottery numbers, rather than computer programming and business administration.
On a historical note, it is interesting to remember that lotteries were once used by the Romans to pick which victims would be tossed to the lions first, and which young men would be conscripted for the military. Winning the lottery used to mean you lost. It is also important to remember that playing the lottery is gambling, an activity which is against the law unless it is sponsored by the government - sort of like smoking that way.
But the research results do raise some interesting questions: is it desirable to receive a lottery windfall, and if so, why hasn't I won anything significant yet?
As it happens, someone who has recently become an extremely close, very dear, personal friend of mine recently did win a considerable amount of money in a lottery.
This person, who is now living under an assumed name and won’t return my calls, won a brand new vehicle worth about $38,000. Of course, once she drove it off the lot, it became a used vehicle and consequently worth about $5,000. Anyway, I asked her if the win changed her life for the better “I sold it right away” my friend said. As for as how people around her reacted, she reported that while her friends and family were very happy for her, there were clearly a few people who were more envious than delighted. "Some of the comments I heard after the win were, 'Hey that was my vehicle!' And, 'Who made you so lucky?' People also asked me: 'How come you won?' To which I always reply: 'I won because I bought a ticket.'"
But what about winning really big? Having tasted a little of what a lottery can do for you, how would she have reacted to winning, say, several million?
"I don't think it would change my life all that much. I would look after my family and I might buy a bigger house, but I would still keep working."
To which I join thousands or others in saying: "HA!" What's the point of including winning a lottery as part of planning for the future if that future still includes having to work?
It would appear then, kids, that what we learn from my friend’s experience is that winning a lottery can be fun, but it can also can make your life more stressful, and can cause otherwise nice people to say not so nice things about you.
So the moral of the story appears to be that money can't buy you happiness, it can only get you a better brand of misery. But don’t let that stop you from buying the tickets, and don’t let anyone tell you that lotteries are just a tax on stupidity – that’s already covered under NAFTA.
Not surprisingly, this discovery sparked a great deal of debate among child development experts right across the country who felt that there were already far too many people buying lottery tickets which lessened the odds of the experts winning The Big One.
No, I am kidding of course. The child development experts were actually upset because the lotteries weren't around when they were kids, and it didn't seem fair that some spikey-haired, body-pierced little social misfit should be able to suddenly become a multi-millionaire overnight, while the expert had to keep struggling along on a mere $50,000 a year.
As a responsible journalist and observer of the human condition, the temptation here is to remind those kids that money can't buy happiness, and to point out that a penny saved is a penny earned, that hard work is its own reward, that anything worth owning is worth working for, and that the best things in life are free. But since none of that is true, I won't bother. Indeed, given the current state of employment opportunities for young people, investing their money in lottery tickets might be a better bet that investing it in retraining programs which help them develop skills computers can already do much better. Perhaps colleges and universities should be offering courses in sooth-saying and rune-casting to help people pick winning lottery numbers, rather than computer programming and business administration.
On a historical note, it is interesting to remember that lotteries were once used by the Romans to pick which victims would be tossed to the lions first, and which young men would be conscripted for the military. Winning the lottery used to mean you lost. It is also important to remember that playing the lottery is gambling, an activity which is against the law unless it is sponsored by the government - sort of like smoking that way.
But the research results do raise some interesting questions: is it desirable to receive a lottery windfall, and if so, why hasn't I won anything significant yet?
As it happens, someone who has recently become an extremely close, very dear, personal friend of mine recently did win a considerable amount of money in a lottery.
This person, who is now living under an assumed name and won’t return my calls, won a brand new vehicle worth about $38,000. Of course, once she drove it off the lot, it became a used vehicle and consequently worth about $5,000. Anyway, I asked her if the win changed her life for the better “I sold it right away” my friend said. As for as how people around her reacted, she reported that while her friends and family were very happy for her, there were clearly a few people who were more envious than delighted. "Some of the comments I heard after the win were, 'Hey that was my vehicle!' And, 'Who made you so lucky?' People also asked me: 'How come you won?' To which I always reply: 'I won because I bought a ticket.'"
But what about winning really big? Having tasted a little of what a lottery can do for you, how would she have reacted to winning, say, several million?
"I don't think it would change my life all that much. I would look after my family and I might buy a bigger house, but I would still keep working."
To which I join thousands or others in saying: "HA!" What's the point of including winning a lottery as part of planning for the future if that future still includes having to work?
It would appear then, kids, that what we learn from my friend’s experience is that winning a lottery can be fun, but it can also can make your life more stressful, and can cause otherwise nice people to say not so nice things about you.
So the moral of the story appears to be that money can't buy you happiness, it can only get you a better brand of misery. But don’t let that stop you from buying the tickets, and don’t let anyone tell you that lotteries are just a tax on stupidity – that’s already covered under NAFTA.
posted by Millie Beagle at 9:48 am
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