Closet Consultants.
There is an old adage that says something to the effect that the amount of stuff we own is directly proportional to the amount of space we have to store it all. If you want proof of this, just go have a look in your garage. Remember when you didn’t have all that stuff? What did you do before you had a garage? Where did all that stuff come from? Would a larger garage solve the problem? No, it would just mean more stuff
The adage applies especially to closet space. Is there such a thing as too much closet space? That’s like asking if it’s possible to be too rich – the answer to both is no. There is a reason why one of the first questions out of the mouths of potential new homeowners is “how much closet space is there?” They know that even though they live in a small place now with very little closet space, as soon as they move into their bigger home with acres of closet space, the space will instantly fill up with stuff that apparently appeared out of thin air – either that or closets around the country are shrinking.
The problem of shrinking closet space has been addressed by a large number of design entrepreneurs who stake their futures and fortunes on the consumer’s desire for more closet space, and on their own abilities to fight the laws of quantum physics and create space where there isn’t any. Go to any home show and most mall openings, and you will find enthusiastic closet consultants eagerly trying to sell you on the latest in closet space makers – an oxymoron if ever there was one!
Closet space makers are essentially organizing systems, and the people who come up with these designs want to do for your closets what time management consultants want to do for your life: create more space. The organizing systems are both very elaborate and very expensive. The pictures the manufacturers use to display the versatility of their products are an obsessive-compulsive’s delight: rows upon rows of neatly sorted shoes; sweaters stacked with military precision; and shirts, pants, dresses and blouses neatly organized on hangers, ready to be instantly matched and worn. And look! There, up on top! Even MORE SPACE for hat boxes (do people still have hat boxes?) Christmas presents, equipment for sports long since abandoned (where else are you going to store your riding hat and scuba gear?) and summer (or winter) clothes! Amazing! How do they do it?
Well, the answer is simple: they stack all the stuff, take pictures of it, and then never use it again! As anybody with real clothes and real closets will tell you, there is no force on Earth that can keep anything organized in a closet for any significant length of time. And those of us who have tried installing closet organizers have quickly learned that all those wire shelves, drawers and racks take up more space than eight boxes of shoes and three suits.
The sad reality is that the time has come for us to abandon our dreams of creating more space for our clothes and shoes by filling our closet space with wire contraptions, and accept the fact that the only solution is to either move to a still larger house with even more shrinking closet space, or have a yard sale (although those contemplating a yard sale may want to see the column entitled “What Happened to the Space in our Garage?” in a later issue of the magazine).
But don’t despair. If you – like I – have bought a closet organizer, remember that the one truly wonderful thing about closet organizers is that they are eminently suitable for holding tools and gardening equipment in the backyard shed.
And getting them out of the closet will open up a ton of space.
The adage applies especially to closet space. Is there such a thing as too much closet space? That’s like asking if it’s possible to be too rich – the answer to both is no. There is a reason why one of the first questions out of the mouths of potential new homeowners is “how much closet space is there?” They know that even though they live in a small place now with very little closet space, as soon as they move into their bigger home with acres of closet space, the space will instantly fill up with stuff that apparently appeared out of thin air – either that or closets around the country are shrinking.
The problem of shrinking closet space has been addressed by a large number of design entrepreneurs who stake their futures and fortunes on the consumer’s desire for more closet space, and on their own abilities to fight the laws of quantum physics and create space where there isn’t any. Go to any home show and most mall openings, and you will find enthusiastic closet consultants eagerly trying to sell you on the latest in closet space makers – an oxymoron if ever there was one!
Closet space makers are essentially organizing systems, and the people who come up with these designs want to do for your closets what time management consultants want to do for your life: create more space. The organizing systems are both very elaborate and very expensive. The pictures the manufacturers use to display the versatility of their products are an obsessive-compulsive’s delight: rows upon rows of neatly sorted shoes; sweaters stacked with military precision; and shirts, pants, dresses and blouses neatly organized on hangers, ready to be instantly matched and worn. And look! There, up on top! Even MORE SPACE for hat boxes (do people still have hat boxes?) Christmas presents, equipment for sports long since abandoned (where else are you going to store your riding hat and scuba gear?) and summer (or winter) clothes! Amazing! How do they do it?
Well, the answer is simple: they stack all the stuff, take pictures of it, and then never use it again! As anybody with real clothes and real closets will tell you, there is no force on Earth that can keep anything organized in a closet for any significant length of time. And those of us who have tried installing closet organizers have quickly learned that all those wire shelves, drawers and racks take up more space than eight boxes of shoes and three suits.
The sad reality is that the time has come for us to abandon our dreams of creating more space for our clothes and shoes by filling our closet space with wire contraptions, and accept the fact that the only solution is to either move to a still larger house with even more shrinking closet space, or have a yard sale (although those contemplating a yard sale may want to see the column entitled “What Happened to the Space in our Garage?” in a later issue of the magazine).
But don’t despair. If you – like I – have bought a closet organizer, remember that the one truly wonderful thing about closet organizers is that they are eminently suitable for holding tools and gardening equipment in the backyard shed.
And getting them out of the closet will open up a ton of space.
posted by Millie Beagle at 10:27 am
3 Comments:
Otte,
Kelly and I were in the midst of working with a closet consultant when I came across your timely article. We have finally agreed upon a simple – yet expensive – closet design by California Closets. A year ago, if you asked whether I thought I would ever consult someone on how to effectively use my closet space, I would have questioned whether such a profession even existed. But, like you said, it does, and it’s a lucrative profession at that.
I thought I would add to your article by saying that the process of two people mutually agreeing upon a closet design can be very symbolic of the relationship between the couple themselves. For example, I wanted to keep my side of the closet as simple and cost-efficient as possible: 1 row for shirts, 1 row for pants. Kelly, on the other hand, was far more particular about her space. Her first draft of the closet design consisted of an entirely separate shelving area for her non-existent show collection, something I’m sure she would be inspired to fill in the near future. When we received an estimate of the initial design, however, I recommended that we should perhaps save some money by opting to fill the closet with a used car.*
*Kelly: not impressed at this point.
However, after many trial and error runs, and with Kelly beginning to inch away at my side of the closet (a very slippery slope, she took over a foot of my space), we finally reached an agreement. It’s a fun design, it speaks to both our practicalities, and it has a space for a TV – cheers to living well about our means.
Despite the impressive PR tactics by our closet consultant, a custom closet is not a necessity. But I do believe it will add to the resale value of our place since some young couples are (sadly) awed by tie racks and high-heel shelving.
Most importantly, Kelly and I are doing very well, and we still boast about your fantastic teaching.
I do, however, disagree with your claim that “there is no force on Earth that can keep anything organized in a closet for any significant length of time.”
If you’re dating a force by the name of Kelly, her wrath is more than enough to keep anyone’s closet space in line.
By wrath I mean a sweet and kind disposition.
Regards,
Jeff Morris
By show collection - I meant shoe collection. Hope that error didn't make you cringe.
- Jeff
It's great to hear from you, Jeff, please give my warmest regards to Kelly. I'm sure the two of you are getting on famously and taking Ottawa by storm. It would terrific to hear a little more about what you are getting up to in the heart of the nation.
That was a wonderful description of life with the closet and Kelly, thanks for adding it. I look forward to hearing Kelly's side of the story. There are, as you know, two sides to every closet story...
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